CHRISTIANITY 101:
HOW MANY PRESBYTERIANS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
What I’m about to discuss this morning is what has been described as denominational light bulb issues, to which there just may be more truth than meets the eye. Each one pokes fun at a different Christian denomination – including our own – so I can fulfill my calling as an equal opportunity offender here…and not be accused of being intolerant. In any case, listen now to a few denominational light bulb issues.
· How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb? The answer is: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, or dull, or completely out…know that you are loved. You can be a light bulb, a turnip bulb, or a tulip bulb. A church-wide light bulb service is planned for next Sunday morning. Bring the bulb of your choice, along with a covered dish.
· How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change the light bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
· How many T.V. evangelists does it take to change a light bulb? One…but for the message of light to continue, be sure to send in your donation today.
· How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. Catholics use candles.
· How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb? What do you mean, change?
· How many Disciples of Christ does it take to change a light bulb? Ten. One to change the light bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old light bulb better.
· How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb? What’s a light bulb?
· How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb? We choose not to make a statement either in favor of, or against, the need for a light bulb. However, if you in your own journey have found that light bulbs work for you, that’s wonderful. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb…and present it next month at our annual light bulb service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions – including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, and tinted – all of which are equally valid paths of illumination.
· And last, but not least: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb? Forty-four. One person to notice that the light bulb is out. Eighteen to sit on the Session, who will refer it to the Board of Trustees. Nine to sit on the board of Trustees, who will refer it to the Personnel and Property Committee. Ten to sit on the Personnel and Property Committee, who will refer it to a sub-committee for further review. The sub-committee will secure three estimates to determine the most cost-effective bulb. They will then refer it back to the Personnel and Property Committee, who will refer it back to the Board of Trustees, who will refer it back to the Session. The Session will then authorize the minister to tell the Administrative Assistant to tell the custodian…to change the light bulb.
You think I’m kidding, don’t you? I’m not so sure I am. The aforementioned light bulb jokes reveal an element of truth about many different denominations in the Christian faith. The point is that there are many different kinds of denominations because there are many different kinds of people in the world. Perhaps the issue now is: Is one denomination better than another? Is one form of faith more correct than another? Or have we, as Christians, muddied the waters of the simple faith that Jesus Christ came to deliver? Keep that thought in mind as we move on.
Several months ago, we postulated that our spiritual lives are shaped by three basic things: our narratives, our practices, and our communities. Our narratives frame our understanding of God and of ourselves. Our practices are the things we do on a regular basis that help to form who and what we are. Our communities are the places we go where we are surrounded by – and influenced by – other people…for better or for worse.
Then we worked hard to establish a few new narratives about God. Looking at God through the lens of Jesus Christ, we determined that God is good, God is trustworthy, God is generous, God is love, God is holy, God is self-sacrificing, and God transforms. Then we wrestled in turn with overcoming anger, lust, lying, and the law of reciprocity. We took a stab at defeating vainglory, avarice, worry, and judgmentalism.
The theory behind such an endeavor is that abiding in the kingdom of God is different than abiding in the kingdom of this world. Those who abide in this world ask, “How can I get more?” Those who abide in the kingdom ask, “How can I give more?” Those who abide in this world ask, “How can I find myself?” Those who abide in the kingdom ask, “How can I lose myself?” Those who abide in this world ask, “How can I win friends and influence people?” Those who abide in the kingdom ask, “How can I truly serve God?” Ladies and gentlemen, there is a profound difference between abiding in the kingdom of this world…and abiding in the kingdom of God. Our goal in this series of sermons is learning to live in the kingdom of God.
Today we continue the process of considering the communities that are meant to influence us from a spiritual standpoint. Obviously, the community we’re talking about here is the church. The issue we’ll be dealing with today is church unity. With such a vast array of denominations in our world today, how do we know which one is right? How do we choose from such a varied assortment?
Jesus makes a rather profound statement about just such a thing in the passage we read from the gospel according to John. The scene is the Last Supper. Shortly after washing his disciples’ feet – and shortly before departing for the Garden of Gethsemane – Jesus begins to pray for his disciples. He says, “I ask not only on behalf of these, but also on behalf of those who will believe in me through their word…that they may all be one.” In other words, Jesus is praying for the unity of his disciples. Yet he is also praying for unity among those who will come to follow him in the future. Ladies and gentlemen, that would be us. Jesus prays for unity in the Church.
We seem to come up a little bit short in fulfilling Jesus’ desires here, do we not? For example, do you know how many Christian denominations there are in the world today? According to the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life – as of December 19th, 2011 – there were approximately 41,000 different Christian denominations in the world. That’s a far cry from the vision Jesus had when he celebrated the Last Supper with his disciples, wouldn’t you say? Thus, how are we to determine who is right and who is wrong? Or, should we even seek to determine who is right and who is wrong?
Regarding this matter, I recently encountered a quote that is often attributed to a fourth century theologian by the name of Augustine, although it cannot be proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was the one who first said it. Regardless of who gets the credit, the quote goes like this: “In essentials, unity; in doubtful matters, liberty; in all things, charity.” What does that mean?
I think what that means is that in the important things – in what Augustine calls the essentials – Christians should be of one heart and one mind. What are the essentials? The essentials are that Jesus Christ is the Son of God…and that God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit are one. The Apostles’ Creed is a pretty good summation. The Nicene Creed may be a slightly better summation. The point is that when it comes to the essentials, Christians need to be united. A divided Christianity makes all of us look bad. The last thing on earth we should be trying to decide for ourselves is who gets to go to heaven, and who does not.
What, then, are doubtful matters? It’s because of doubtful matters that we have 41,000 different Christian denominations. For example, what we call the “Great Schism” of the church occurred in roughly 1054 A.D. That’s when the Eastern Orthodox Church in the east split from the Roman Catholic Church in the west. While the actual split had been brewing for years, the essential issue for the split was what we call the Filioque. Filioque is a Latin word that means, “and from the Son.” The root of the problem was this. The Western Church added the Filioque to the Nicene Creed, regarding the Holy Spirit. They said, “We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord and Giver of Life, who proceedeth from the Father and the Son.” The Eastern Church said, “No, no! The Holy Spirit proceeds from the Father only!” And that’s what split the church right down the middle.
I am somewhat oversimplifying the matter, but not a great deal. Many of us would find such a disagreement to be ludicrous. “They split the church over that?” we might say. To us, such a thing might be seen as a nonessential. To them it was seen as an essential…and all it accomplished was to split the church in two.
Many years ago, I was guilty of attempting to do just such a thing, as well. Shortly after David Koresh and the Branch Davidians made news in Waco, Texas, I did a sermon series on cults. Now it just so happened that at about that time, I was lifting weights with a friend at his house. Two Jehovah’s Witnesses came by to evangelize his household, and he turned them over to me. Let’s just say that I kind of tied them up in knots. What I did not realize at the time, however, was that those two Jehovah’s Witnesses were merely teenagers.
Shortly thereafter, the father of those two girls came over to my house. To make a long story short, he actually threatened to bring some friends with him the next time in order to beat me up. So in my very next sermon, I told my congregation all about what had transpired with that Jehovah’s Witness. Then I said, “I can almost see the newspaper headlines now: ‘Presbyterian Minister Assaulted by Witnesses.’ Then the first line of the article would read: ‘Six Jehovah’s Witnesses remain hospitalized…’”
Okay, I got in a little trouble for that. But hey, that was twenty years ago. I was young, impulsive and immature. Shortly thereafter, however, I was reading my Bible when it was like I was hit between the eyes with a two-by-four. I read of how the disciples were proudly telling Jesus of how they had forbade certain people from casting out demons in Jesus’ name. Jesus said to them, “He who is not against us…is for us.” I was convicted by the very gospel God had called me to proclaim. While we may not agree with the Jehovah’s Witnesses – or a lot of other church denominations, for that matter – are they really against us? As Augustine once put it, “In essentials, unity; in doubtful matters, liberty; in all things, charity.”
Dallas Willard was one of the leading spiritual writers of the twentieth century. At a conference in California, he once said, “I am going to tell you what is the single most important task of a Christian.” You could have heard a pin drop as the audience waited to hear what Dallas Willard thought was the single most important task of a Christian. Willard then leaned into the microphone and said, “The most important task of a Christian…is to pray for the success of your neighboring churches.” Trust me…that was not at all what anyone in the audience expected.
Yet maybe he was right. For you see, when we pray – genuinely pray – for the success of other churches in our community, we are breaking the narrative of selfishness, and entering into the mind of God…who is also striving for the success of those churches. You see, it’s not just about us. It’s about the essentials…and it’s about the kingdom of God.
So…how many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb? Quite a few. And that’s all right, because that’s what works for us. Our God must be a God who loves diversity, or he never would have created such a thing as a giraffe. What works for us may not work for everyone else, but that does not mean that we are not in agreement on the essentials. So, pray for the success of our church, and pray for the success of the churches in our community. After all, the only thing that really matters…is the coming kingdom of God. Amen.
1 comment:
Fantastic sermon! Thank you...I needed a reminder :)
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